Ah telt yez nae tae write me aff!
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Lifelines: Don't call me Mrs Maxwell
|Age||Only 50, even though she sometimes looks much older through strain brought on by hard grafting for Robert Max... damn, I meant the Labour Party|
|Appearance||Power-dressing cross between Alexis Carrington and Joan of Arc. Unfortunately she always looks like she's having a bad hair day|
|Background||Former Robert Maxwell apparatchik in Scotland, she tries hard to play down her life and times with Cap'n Bob|
|Dead Ringer for||Baroness Thatcher|
|Likes||Bashing powerful pension fund managers, outperforming more famous male colleagues and proving she can actually count up to ten|
|Hates||Being described as 'Scotland's answer to Mrs Thatcher'|
|Her enemies say of her||'She's Scotland's answer to Mrs Thatcher'|
|Her friends say of her||'She's Scotland's answer to Mrs Thatcher'|
|Favourite food||Raw meat, Scottish teachers, Henry McLeish|
|Favourite coffee||Maxwell House|
|Favourite cosmetics||Max Factor|
|Favourite TV personality||Max Headroom|
|Favourite Head of State||Emperor Maximillian of Mexico|
|Favourite castle||Caerlaverock, ancestral home of the ...... family|
|Maxim||I um a feightuur|
|Family||Married to a doctor; one son , one daughter and three council Direct Labour Organisations|
Tipped as a future Prime Minister
In the spring of 1998, Little Nell's career seemed about to take off and she was being tipped as Donald Dewar's successor in the short term and Tony Blair's successor in the long term.
Tipped for the knacker's yard
In July 1999, Little Nell was called the unluckiest politician in Scotland after losing out on the position of Secretary of State for Scotland to Dr John Reid then being booted out of the cabinet-attending position of Minister of Transport to make way for Lord Gus Macdonald. She is now merely a humble Minister of State in the Department of Trade.
Tipped to win votes for the SNP
In January 2001, Little Nell was firmly back in the saddle as the first ever woman Secretary of State for Scotland. If her past record as Scottish Education Minister is anything to go by, the future looks set to be explosive!